Coping up with your kid’s Tantrums
Your child is a blessing in your life; you want to spend most of your time with them, give them the best, love them and pamper them. But sometimes, you pamper them so much that they start throwing tantrums. Toddler temper tantrums are difficult to deal with and many parents face this problem at some point in time. Tantrums are just as common in boys as they are in girls and they usually occur post 2 years of age.
Such resentful behavior can also be observed just before your child learns to crawl or achieves a similar physical milestone. The frustration felt in that moment is what leads them to show tantrums. Some common tantrum behaviors exhibited by toddlers include:
- Stamping the feet
- Screaming and yelling
- Throwing themselves to the floor
- Head banging on the floor or a wall
- Deliberately not eating
- Holding on to poo.
"Tantrums are just as common in boys as they are in girls and they usually occur post 2 years of age"
It’s difficult to handle your toddlers when they throw tantrums. They do it when they notice that they are getting a lot of attention, and when they don’t get what they want, they show their frustration by screaming. Many a times, kids throw tantrums out of hunger or a need for sleep. They also tend to throw tantrums when they are ill. With immense patience and love, you can help stop your little one from having this nasty habit.
Getting to know about toddler tantrums.
Tantrums can be of two types - manipulative tantrums and frustration tantrums.
Frustration tantrums happen because kids usually have an inability to express. This occurs as a child’s communication skills are still not as strong as their mental and motor skills.
During the toddler years, your child is constantly learning to control his impulses, his bodily functions, and his behavior. Sometimes, the ability to maintain self-control breaks down, resulting in a tantrum. You may not be able to avoid these entirely, but you can minimize their frequency and intensity. Here are a few tips to tame your child's out bursts :
Stay calm when your child shows a tantrum, he needs you to remain in control. Try gently, but firmly, holding your child to keep him from hurting himself or others. Move him from the source of anger and give a chance to recover.
Distract your little one before a tantrum reaches full throttle; a change in surroundings might help change your child’s behavior
Don't take your child's behavior personally and don't feel guilty or get out of control because your child has had a momentary breakdown. Though having your child shout "I hate you" can be hurtful, it's important to keep in mind that your child's actions are not so much directed at you as they are simply a showcase of their own frustrations.
Discuss the tantrum after your child has calmed down, talk about what made him so upset. Don't dwell on the outburst, instead assure him or her of your love with a warm hug.
A manipulative tantrum is the one your child uses to get his way and gain control over you. These tantrums often take place when your child wants something and you deny it. Your child then throws a tantrum to force you to change your mind. If your kid is still using tantrums to get his own way, don’t give in to his tantrums, instead tell him that this is not acceptable. But, your voice should not be overpowering, it should be calm, yet firm
Dealing with tantrums in public
Can you actually deal with tantrums in public the ‘right’ way while keeping your positive parenting hat on? Or, can you prevent the whole thing from happening in the first place?
It’s very important that you stick around with your child all the time. Ignoring him is not an option. You can hug him, pass a smile, or pick him up gently and take a stroll. This will surely make your little one feel wanted and special as kids always want to be the center of attraction.
Always carry your child’s food and water along so that you can feed him if he feels hungry.
Usually toddlers get excited when they are around people, so the best thing to do is to take your little one to a quiet place like a restroom or to your car and calm her down. Once the tantrum stops, talk to him in a soothing tone and assure him that you are around and he need not be afraid of anything.
Carry your child’s favorite toys so that he can be busy playing with the toy. If it becomes too difficult to carry many things along with you, then carry your toddler in the pram.
Preventing your toddler from Throwing Tantrums
Tantrums can be stopped to a large extent by being pro-active. Have a smart plan ready for your child and for yourself. Here are some tips that you can follow to prevent tantrums:
- When you are expecting a visitor, tell your child in advance about the person as kids don’t like surprises, so it’s better to keep him informed and have a fixed schedule.
- Show him how to behave in front of the guests who they will be meeting
- Attend to your kid’s hunger and sleep cues
- If your kid is unwell, there might be a possibility that he will throw tantrums. Be patient and tolerant and try to tackle the situation in a calm and composed manner.
- Inform your child before any change of activity in which he or she is involved. Like if your little one has been swinging in the park for a while and you want to take him or her back home, tell him or her a few minutes before you actually pick him or her up from the swing.
- Socialize with your kid and read out to him or her as much as possible as this enhances communication skills.
Being the center of attraction is not a tantrum
Every child wants attention, but this is not a tantrum. All kids just want to make sure that their parents are there for them. Your love and attention is all that is required to calm your little one down in such a situation.
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